I’ve always had a horrible relationship with the scale. There wasn’t much that I hated more than getting on the scale. I used to put off going to the doctor because the thought of getting on the scale while some 20-year-old childless nurse eyed the muffin top spilling over my skinny jeans was enough to make me unstable. I don’t know when this started because I was never a big kid, but things changed for me somewhere along the way to becoming an adult.
I don’t know if it’s because my mother struggled with weight, my best friend’s mom was the poster child for Weight Watchers, or if it was because I grew up in the 80s with bodycon dresses before Spanx was a thing. All I know is weight has been a massive issue for me all my life.
By the time I was 13, I was doing as much step aerobics as possible in our living room while licking lettuce leaves for lunch to stay in my “weight class” for prom.
But I had a real issue. I focused on my weight ALL.THE.TIME.
The Emotional Toll of Weighing In
Like many women my age and older, I felt my value was determined by how I looked.
I distinctly remember that if I ever went in a car with someone, I would lay my bag, sweatshirt, etc., over my legs so they couldn’t see how the “fat” on my thighs would spread out over the seat.
These negative thoughts took up so much space in my head that sometimes there wasn’t room for anything else. I also didn’t know how to fix my issue, so I would cry in the shower a lot. When I say a lot, I mean an unhealthy amount of time spent crying in the shower.
As I got older, it got worse—way worse. The scale began to determine how I felt about myself. I would literally have a visceral reaction to the number on the scale. My heart would start racing, and I would start sweating, just waiting for the numbers on the scale to stop like I was spinning that giant wheel on Wheel of Fortune. I had convinced myself that this would determine whether I was a good human. If my weight went up, I had a bad day, like a really bad day.
How was I so weak? How did I let it get to this? Where did those damn mini muffins go?
All this whining and drama isn’t to make you feel sorry for me. Believe me when I say I’ve done enough of that all by myself, but instead to set up the second half of this tragic saga…
Breaking the Cycle
One day, I decided I needed to escape the negative mental loop that wasn’t serving me. I was tired of feeling bad. I no longer wanted to wallow in my self-hate and desperation. I decided to make a change.
The first thing I did was stop using the scale. I put it in the back of my closet. I was over it because, in reality, it was a distraction for me. I decided to focus on the behaviors that move the needle on weight loss versus watching my scale weight and catastrophizing all the damn time. I stopped drowning myself in red wine and self-pity and went for a walk.
Putting my scale away and focusing on what I was doing right instead of what I was failing at was the skeleton key to beginning my 50 lb weight loss journey.
Ditching the Scale and Finding Motivation
I went back to the gym and started lifting weights again. This is when the magic happened. It was slow and steady, but it happened. At first, it was grueling, I’m not gonna lie.
I was so out of shape that working out was hard AF. I’m embarrassed, but I got worn out just from the warm-up. I was humiliated, but I’m stubborn. Once I decide to do something, I don’t quit out of sheer spite.
It took me about 15 months to take the weight off. First, my tummy slimmed down, and I didn’t have to tuck my muffin top into my skinny jeans anymore. Then, one day, my bra fat was just gone. It used to spill over my bra like little crescent rolls (sexy, I realize), and then holy shit, one day, it was just gone.
I started trying on tank tops for the first time in years, looking for reasons to walk by the mirror and flex (true story). Next, it was my bat wings…I used to hold them up to see what my arms used to look like before kids, and then one day, there was nothing to hold up anymore.
That’s how it went—slowly, one small change at a time, little by little. One day, I got my scale out of the back of my closet, dusted it off, and decided to see where I was. I felt pretty good, but nothing felt as good as getting on the scale to find out I weighed the same as I did in high school! Take that, you stupid nurse!
I started measuring my self-worth by how many plates I could lift on the bar instead of how many pounds I lost that day. My focus shifted to how well I could improve my exercise form and how strong I was getting.
Ironically, the daily dopamine hit I got from getting stronger made me finally feel like a badass in the gym and life. That feeling is what ultimately moved the needle on the scale. As I got stronger, I got fitter and, most importantly, leaner.
If I Had to Start My Weightloss Journey Over
It ignited something in me, and now I suddenly had a passion for what I knew I needed to do: I wanted to help 40+ women feel good in their skin again. If I can do it, then anyone can.
Will it be easy? Nope, (if anyone tells you it’s easy, you need to run away because they are full of shite), but it is simple. If I had to start my weight loss journey all over again from day one, here is what I would focus on as a 40+ woman:
9 Things I Would Focus On if I Had to Start My Weightloss Journey Over Again
- I would focus on getting 1g of protein per ideal body weight
- I would get 25g of fiber daily
- I would eat in a slight calorie deficit (no more than 500 calories below my maintenance calories).
- I would walk. The more, the better.
- I would put the scale away for a hot minute to focus on the behaviors that will lead to significant change, and then I would learn to use the scale for what it’s meant for: data only.
- I would strength train 3-4 days a week (and I don’t mean Orange Fitness, F45, or circuit classes. I mean real strength training. That means putting down the stupid pink neoprene weights, ladies. If you aren’t making a funny face when you lift, then the weight is too light for you)
- I would meet friends for a walk vs a coffee date
- I cut way back on alcohol
- I would follow levelingupmidlife (sorry, I couldn’t resist a shameless plug)
Embrace Your Journey
If you want to lose some weight and have a better relationship with the scale, grab our FREE Ultimate Guide to Fat Loss in Menopause.
My journey taught me that it’s not just about the weight you lose but the life you gain. I’ve learned to focus on strength, resilience, and the joy of feeling healthy. It’s about finding empowerment in each choice and loving yourself every step of the way. What’s your relationship with the scale? Share your journey in the comments—I’d love to hear from you! If you’re on a similar journey, remember—it’s okay to start slowly and celebrate each victory, no matter how small. The scale does not define your worth. You do. Embrace your journey, and know that I’m cheering for you.
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