Self Sabotage: Are You Wrecking Your Progress?

Self-sabotage refers to behaviors or thought patterns that prevent an individual from achieving their goals or undermining their success. It often happens when someone consciously or unconsciously acts in ways that hold them back or derail progress.

Here Are 13 Key Ways You Are Sabotaging Your Results:

1. Are you avoiding the uncomfortable tasks that will bring you the results you say matter to you because you don’t want to leave your comfort zone? Telling yourself things like “I don’t like to sweat” or  “I don’t want to get bulky”?

2. Do you repeatedly break promises to yourself, even after promising this time you would make it happen? Do you say things like “I’ll start on Monday,” “ I’ll start after the holidays,” or “I start when I have more energy?” Do you know this behavior can negatively impact your self-esteem in the long term? 

3. Do you refuse to accept available help even when you know you would benefit from it? Do you tell yourself, “I’ll figure it out on my own, or I don’t want to waste the money on myself?”

4. Do you justify self-sabotage to yourself by telling yourself you never really wanted those things anyway, even though you know that’s not true? 

5. Are you setting unrealistic standards for yourself or using unrealistic timing to hit those goals, leading to frustration when standards aren’t met? Are you trying to lose 30 lbs in 30 days instead of doing it in a sustainable way that will take longer?

6. Do you always wait until Monday to start, leading to continued postponing your goals or false starts? 

7. Are you being an A-hole to yourself? Are you seeing yourself in the worst possible light and saying things like “I can’t do this” or “I’m not good enough,” undermining your confidence and motivation?

8. Do you have a fear of failure? Is this fear keeping you from even trying? Are you one of those people who clean their house before the maid comes over because you don’t want your maid to know you can be messy?

9. Are you an “all or Nothing” thinker? Believing you have to do everything perfectly, otherwise why bother? If you miss one thing, then you quote unquote failed.

10. Do you paralyze yourself by focusing on EVERYTHING you have to do vs. breaking it up into manageable steps? Creating overwhelm that keeps you sucking your thumb and rocking in a dark corner somewhere.

11. Do you need more accountability or a plan? Do you need to track progress or external support to solidify your plan? Maybe you don’t want to admit needing help until you get unstuck.

12. Do you prioritize instant gratification (short-term pleasure) over long-term goals that undermine your success? Maybe you don’t want to miss the experience or event. 

13. Do you make unhealthy comparisons by comparing yourself to social media fitness influencers who have barely made it out of puberty, have never had children or weight to lose, or have photo-retouched images posted on social media?

If you are anything like me, you can see yourself in this list (or, in my case, multiple places). But what are some science-backed ways to minimize or negate self-sabotage?

10 Science-Backed Ways to Mitigate Self-Sabotage

1. Increase self-awareness: Journaling or mindfulness practices can help with self-reflection and help track triggers, emotions, or behaviors that lead to self-sabotage.

1. Set REALISTIC and specific goals: Breaking down larger goals into smaller attainable steps helps to minimize the overwhelm, and the bonus gives you frequent wins. Trade losing 20 lbs to 1-2 lbs per week. 
2. Reframe negative thought patterns: When you notice negative self-talk, counter it with evidence from past successes or affirmations like “I am capable of making progress.” Consistently practicing this will rewire your brain away from negative thought patterns.
3. Use implementation intentions (“If-then” Plans): Create “If-then” scenarios such as “If I feel tempted to overeat, then I will go for a 15-minute walk”. This reduces the chance of giving in to impulses.

1. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself like you would someone you love rather than someone who consistently disappoints you, especially after a mistake or setback. Instead of criticizing yourself for missing a workout, remind yourself that one day won’t ruin your progress and that you’ll get right back to it tomorrow.
2. Focus on long-term rewards, not immediate gratification: Visualize the long-term benefits of your goal. If I want to lose weight, visualize how great you’ll look in the hottest pair of jeans. Remind yourself of these rewards whenever you’re tempted by short-term pleasures. Use apps or systems to track your long-term progress, and keep these rewards in mind. 

1. Build support systems: Share your goals with supportive friends and family, or join our coaching community of like-minded women to reach your goals.
2. Practice mindfulness: Incorporate daily mindfulness exercises like deep breathing or mindful eating to stay present and calm in moments of temptation or doubt. 

1. Reward progress, not just outcomes: Celebrate progress, not just the final result. For example, reward yourself for completing a week of consistent workouts, even if you haven’t hit your final goal. Try non-food rewards like a new book or getting a massage to reinforce positive habits.
2. Plan to fail (mental contrasting): Think ahead to potential barriers or pitfalls to your success. If social events are your kryptonite, plan for when you find yourself in those situations. Plan ahead and eat healthy before the event, or sneak in healthy snacks.

Conclusion

Recognizing and overcoming self-sabotage is essential for making progress toward your goals. Increasing self-awareness and setting realistic objectives allows you to gradually work towards your goals without feeling overwhelmed. Reframing negative thoughts into positive affirmations and using implementation intentions can guide you through moments of temptation. Embracing self-compassion and focusing on long-term rewards over immediate gratification fosters resilience and motivation. Building supportive communities and practicing mindfulness can add a layer of accountability and mindfulness to your journey. Additionally, rewarding progress, not just outcomes, and planning for potential setbacks equip you with the tools to persevere. Ultimately, shifting your mindset through these evidence-based strategies can propel you toward sustainable success and personal growth.